The Art of Hearing "No"

I think every student, regardless of what field they are studying, needs to take a class on the art of hearing "no." After all, I can't think of a single word in the English language that can have as much impact on the confidence of a professional. When heard over and over again, this word can undermine your confidence and slowly erode both your performance and psyche. 

Yet every professional, across every sector, in every field, has to learn how to hear the word 'No.'

I work as a grants manager. My job is to develop and sustain relationships with potential donors in order to secure long-term, project-based funds. Relationships take years to develop, proposals take weeks, if not months, to formulate and write, and review processes take up to six months as well. That's a lot of time, from a lot of people, so when a letter comes in the mail: "We regret to inform you..." it's a major blow.

So how do you deal with "no?"

Believe it or not, I've found the best way to hear 'no' is to think of all the other possibilities that could have just become 'yes.' For example, we might receive notification that we are no longer going to be funded by an established community giving circle. 

Well, that sucks.  

So what can we do? 

Let's work to build that relationship a little more so if we decide to ask again next year, they have a better idea of what we do. Or, let's host a donor reception and bring people together to share our stories and our mission and begin to cultivate those relationships instead. 

The bottom line about hearing 'no' in the professional world is that you can either accept it and move on or you can work to change that 'no' to a 'yes' through positive relationship development and cultivation. 

Hearing the word 'no' and parlaying it into something positive is an art form - and one that every professional should have. Best of luck, my fellow professionals. May the 'no's' be no more bountiful than warranted, and positivity work to your benefit.